Gardening The Clean had the longest most troubled birth out of any song. It originally started as a technical exercise in song writing when I first moved from LMMS to FL Studio. I wanted to see what I could create using my new tool set, and at the time a lot of stolen and cracked VSTs.
The song then became part of a failed project about a man who would try to start a religious war in the United States. Nothing from that project has survived. I think I remember a few lyrics I had written, but it was overall pretty shit and overwrought. At the time the song was called Origin Virgin. Some of the lyrics remain from that era, but recontextualized. I'm pretty sure I was sitting in a training in Indianapolis in 2011 when I came up with the lyrics.
As Killing the Teenage began to take a stronger form I realized Origin Virgin had a home here, or rather I was too committed to it to let it die and figured I could make it fit a new context. I liked the song a lot even then, but it needed a lot of work to bring it up to the standard of this album. The song was given its current name and some parts were reworked to improve its structure and have it better fit with this project. Originally the organ and bass parts were flipped. I also wanted a Saxophone solo during the refrain originally.
The song, having had different origins, has a different sound than the rest of the album. Considering its place in the middle I think its a welcome palate cleanser. Its more vibrant, and also far more noisy and chaotic. It reflects my older style a lot. Not a bad thing, but noticeable.
lyrics
Born in a lotus
In the palms of blood
Crossed by the pulpit
You’ve Given this message
And silenced at once
No matter what you want from me
The water you blessed
Has given him pause
He’s slow on the surface
So leave him to drown
In a house he will tarnish
No matter what you want from me
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
You can’t free me
No matter what you want from me
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
You can’t free me
No matter what you want from me
Hey
Is this child going to wake
Hey
Preserve nails on the stake
Hey
Say it nice to his face
Hey
Then dig the cross into his back
The lies we have planted
Their roots grow deeper
Who’s family is a hero
Which patrons do we taint
All the ivory is cracking
No matter what you want from me
The legends we tell them
Are spilling with paint
Red glossed in one sense
Of sinning disdain
The tape will keep secrets
No matter what you want from me
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
I never get clean
No matter what you expect of me
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
I never get clean
No matter what you expect of me
Hey
Can it open its mortal side
Hey
A pleasant face my of lies
Hey
Writing checks as acts of love
Hey
Reunion made of blackened doves
I let the sun burn me
Just to cleanse it free
The flakes fly away
I am a new day
I gardened the clean
Only I will cleanse me
I can not drain it out
Refills in my house
When I take the plunge
Don’t play the victim
To crude addendums
You tried for my end
A hall warm but alone
I hear honest tones
History inverts
The elder holds my neck
I welcome the release
Please give this to me
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
I never get clean
No matter what you expect
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
I never get clean
No matter what you expect
My knuckles are raw
My eyes are slow
I never get clean
I never get clean
No matter what you expect of me
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